Friday, December 31, 2010

Stuck on you...

Yeah...I do sing.

This little track is a reflection of what I strive towards in my relationship with Christ.
"And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it." (Luke 9:23, 24)

Stuck on You - Aibet | Upload Music
Everywhere I go it's all different place
Everyone I see it's all different face
Every road I trek it's all different ways
Every man I see it's all different clays
There's only one thing that never will change
Even in this world that is like a stage
Going through this life like the pages of a book
Be sure there is One always taking a look

As for me, I'll never give up
As for me, I'll always give thanks
As for me, I'll ever be at ease
'Cos He's put this sweet song in my mouth

Stuck on You - Aibet | Upload Music
It was Your love that saved me when I was dying
It was Your grace that gave me the power to move on

No matter what I face I'll sing the song
No matter what it takes I'll never let go
Where ever you may go, I'll follow You
'Cos Jesus I've decided to give all away

Sometimes when I look around
Tears flow freely from my eyes
For the evil in this world still abounds
Everybody's doing things their own ways
There's only one thing I take refuge in
Even in this world where there is no gain
That Jesus died and took away my sins
Thank you Lord, the sacrifice still remains

I will hold on
I will look onto Jesus
And I will stand firm
'Cos He's put this sweet song in my mouth

It was Your love that saved me when I was dying
It was Your grace that gave me the power to move on

No matter what I face I'll sing the song
No matter what it takes I'll never let go
Where ever you may go, I'll follow You
'Cos Jesus I've decided to give all away

Thank you God. 

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Yay! It's xmas!

...And new year in exactly one week.

I thank God, for sending us Jesus, the reason for the season.

So many things I'm grateful for this year. You know, the gift of life, good health, favour, grace, friends...and most of all, the gift of love.

Last year, in July, after I finished my internship in Lagos University Teaching Hospital, I learnt I was going to be posted to a place in Eastern Nigeria for my national service. Had to get a map to find the location of a place called Ebonyi. This was after, in the normal Nigerian spirit, I had done all I could to 'work' my posting to Osun state or somewhere in the South-West.

I went through the Elizabeth-Kubler Ross stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance. However, thank God for some wonderful friends I met there who made my stay worth the while.

Early January this year, I think 3rd to be precise, walked in the reason I'm writing this blog. Even though she had traveled in from afar, and she had this wearied look on her face from having dragged a giant and heavy (yeah, I carried per gentleman) traveling bag...she was still radiant. I knew I had found someone special. Don't ask me how I knew...I just knew.

She was synonymous with perfection. The way she stood, her carriage, her elbow's carrying angle, her smile, her eyelashes, her eyebrows...her made me understand what Michael Jackson meant by his song Speechless. For all my recent attempts at being more 'social', I couldn't come up with an intelligible conversation. I offered her part of my burger that day, when she said no, all I could think of was how nice it would be to share food and everything with her one day.

Days passed, because we lived in the same building, I was able to see her like every 2 - 4 days. Either when she goes to the well to get water, or when she comes back from work and someone needs to open the gate for her (always tried as much as possible to be that someone). Still, the most conversation I could come up with was 'Hi!', 'Long time', 'Did you travel?', 'Someone is addicted to malt' and some other lame stuff.

One sunny afternoon, while waiting for a cab to take home from work, she was already waving her hand in front of my face before I saw her. That threw me off balance. I would have loved to see her like 2 kilometres away so that I could brace myself. Yours sincerely started sweating shirt started to stick to my body, my tie became uncomfortable, my shoes felt like furnace. A cab came and we got in for the 5-minute ride...all conversations finished in 2 minutes. I didn't even remember to be polite! It was freakishly awkward. All I could dream of was being able to talk about everything with her one day.

Fast forward to February, mid of the close friends were leaving as they had completed their service. I was lonely, I needed a friend...and she was there! That Saturday saturated with sweetness, we had the longest conversation since that time I saw her first. We talked for hours...but it felt like minutes. It was a wonderful day for me.

On Valentine's day, we had a random pairing of males and females in our compound for the day...I fervently prayed for her to be mine, but fate had other plans.

We had and still have a lot in common, so it was easy for us to become closer and closer. As time went by, we started sharing everything. She started to care what I think and say about her, neighbors started teasing us, we started hanging out more. I still remember the first time we held was perfect.

I knew I had to do something. I had to tell her how I feel about her. After I had rehearsed for days, which turned into weeks...courage or opportunity letting me down many times...I finally told her. She kept me in suspense for 3 days. And then she made me the happiest and luckiest guy in the world. Since then, it has been good progress for us. She made my year, she made my life.

Every single day, I cant but thank God for her. I was short-sighted. I didn't want to go to no jungle for service. What did I know?

If you are wondering who the angel is, her name is Emenena...meaning 'my own'. She's truly Emenena.

My Numnums, I love you always. Merry Christmas.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I'll never forgive you! You deserve to SUFFER!

Oh really?

Disclaimer: Do what I say, not what I do.
Did I hear you say 'Hypocrite'?...Yeah, aren't we all? At least I've got insight. Ho Ho Ho!

We are about to conclude a seminar on forgiveness as part of our weekly devotion in the mission hospital I work at. Yours sincerely is co-ordinating the program, hence the inspiration for another of my once in a green moon notes.

Before I/you go on, if you know you never get angry at anything then don't bother reading this note. You can just go  'glow-basking' in your sainthood.

For the rest of us, anger is a feeling that we experience at one time or the other, some people more often than some others. It's like a reflex reaction. The other side of the Anger-Hurt coin. It tells us something has gone wrong, a rule has been broken, feelings hurt.

Anger as an expression is not only has the potential to be. You know, when it is held on for too long or it is over-expressed. You may argue that you know how to control your anger and blah blah...but do you? Really?

Forgiveness is thinking differently about our past so that we can be content with our present and can enjoy fully, our future.
Note that I haven't said forgiveness is forgetting or suppressing the past. I did not call it avoidance or deletion. I did not call it 'not facing consequences' or 'condoning bad behaviour'. Aha! *nodding head*

Let's face facts. Events that stir up emotions are hard to forget. The more unique the emotions are, the harder the 'forgetting' process what's the point eh?

What was I talking about again?

A lot of people think when you forgive, you are doing the other person a favor. If you said 'Of course!', you are not totally wrong. However, let's consider for a moment:
How many times have you slept poorly because someone made you angry and did not apologize?
How many times have you skipped your meals, screamed at your friend because someone stepped on your toes?
How many times have you spent your day with someone you did not like just because the person you like hurt you?
While you are busy having a crappy day, the offender is away and HAPPILY looking for other toes to step on. While you are busy being an insomniac, he is already annoying other people with is loud snoring and talking in his sleep.

So you see, when you sincerely forgive, you are at peace. That great smile you are known for returns. People once again want to be around you and you are able to move on with your life. Medically, your sympathetic nervous system stop to 'hypertrophy' (I couldn't resist dropping a jargon).

The highest level of anger, that dude called 'Resentment'...where you replay events that hurt you in your head and relive it like it just happened. And it gets worse every time it's played. This could go on for years and inevitably eat your whole psyche and body.

Take a young lady for example. She was sexually abused as a teenager and now she remembers that incident every time she sees a guy. From being angry at that one guy, now she resents the whole guy folk. Any slight 'pick-up' gesture is met with serious rebuttal and defensive behavior which sends the guys scampering away.
She's definitely not at tell me, who is suffering?

In all, forgiveness I think helps you more than it helps the offender. The decision to forgive is entirely dependent on you, not what the other person says, or doesn't say. Take control of your life's situations rather than letting life's situation control you. You can control your actions but not your reactions.

I've said all these things as a bored OPD doctor, not a pastor. Else I would have referred to that contract that says "And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us".

Parting question: If you were Jesus dying on that cross, would you have said 'Father forgive them..' or 'Thunder fire una...'